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Wednesday 29 September 2010

The City

I love this city. I love my halls, the girls I live with, the university. I love it's bustle, but the fact it's never so packed you can't breate. I love the way you can walk places, and along the way I can see beautiful old structures right alongside the new. I love the diversity here, the accents and the feel of a city. I love that there are great churches around. i love that 15 mins on a train and you can be in a village with a canal, locks and hills.

But there are two things I don't like. One is the rain. Because it seriously does rain ALL the time. And the second is the strange sensation I get from seeing so many faces-and the fact that occasionaly I get glimpses of Annie. Her scarf, her hair or her laugh, and I freeze. My heart starts to pound and it hits me again- that cold hard moment where my conscious mind realises it can't be Annie, because Annie died. And in that second it feels like it's happening again and I realise I'm still learning to live with the reality of it. A friend told me the other day I was brave, and I dismissed him, but I think that there is a little bit of bravery there, deep down- a part that makes a decision each morning that today will be ok.

So it's in those moments that I turn to God, he who is so brave. The one certainty I have is that he will always be with me, no matter how many miles from home I am. I know he surrounds me with people who care and people who love me. So it's ok.
And above all I know he's going to ensure I have a great time in Manchester, that he's placed me here for a purpose and that I'll have a wonderful 3 years. x
Posted by Laura x at 05:13

Wednesday 25 August 2010

A way with words...

I arrived back home on Saturday 21st August, twelve hours after setting off from South Africa, leaving behind a lot of memories, 4 beautiful friends and an amazing country. My time away has grown me in ways that I am both discovering now and have yet to discover, but I know that there has been a change in my soul. Not only because I lost a best friend, but also because my heart was broken. My heart was broken for the poor, for the disadvantaged, the kids that used to knock on our door, the abused women at the clinic, the HIV positive children at pre-school. My faith was challenged, and I learnt how to put love into action. I had some amazing times, I learnt so much and I made friendships for life. I also learnt how to grieve. I have to come back to this grief, because for me, this is what fills most waking hours at this time.

Grieving is something that no-one can prepare you for. No-one sits you down when you’re young and explains the process, tells you what you will feel. Because the truth is no-one knows how you’ll react, and grief is individual. 8 weeks after Annie died I’m still trying to figure it out, blindly finding my way down the path. So I cry a lot, I talk a lot and then I get on with life, like she would have wanted me too. But what I have found is that Hillsong music has helped me lately- in the moments that I choose and need to set aside to be Annie times, their worship is always there, and the lyrics and music resonate within me and help me remember her under God’s light. It connects me to my source of hope, helps me express myself and remember her. In SA I would often plug myself into my IPod, sit with my journal and that was my signal that this was reflection time, Annie time. Here in the UK I have my own space, but I still come back to the music.

“For there is no-one who can love me like you do, and forever I’m running back to you”.
The Father’s Heart, A Beautiful Exchange

So thank-you for everyone who supported me-in a all ways - this really has been a life changing year.

Thursday 15 July 2010

Annie

Yesterday evening I lost my best friend. Lost shouldn’t be the right word, because I know exactly where she is, I just can’t reach her yet, but she has gone. Trying to describe what I feel now is an impossible task, for I feel empty, I feel full, I feel nothing yet everything, I feel grief and I remember joy. Every part of me wants to cry out to her and hug her, to tell her I loved her, that she constantly made me laugh, she helped make me who I am today. Being halfway across the world to all those who loved her is so difficult right now, but I know in my heart that the same God that loved her and loves us all binds us together, that we can all look towards him for comfort and for strength, that he is the one who is above all.

Angharad Mary Clague was the most wonderful girl- she was funny, she was beautiful, she loved with all her heart, she was a great friend and mentor to me; a fellow Glee/Cath Kidson /Topshop /Ben and Jerry’s lover. All the days I spent with her (and there were lots!) were amazing- most of the time a complete laugh, but sometimes tough, sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes beautiful and always a giggle. The past tense is not the right way to describe her, because that makes it real, and it so should not be real. My future, and her future, are so inexplicitly changed that I cannot contemplate not having her there to share in the joys and the lows of life- the boys, the day I deliver my first baby, the day I get married and she’s not there to be my maid of honour, the day I decorate my kitchen in Cath Kidston. I miss her, so much.

The team here have been wonderful, and my plans at the moment are to stay here for the time being, and return, but to come to the funeral, for I need to see everybody and all the people she loved. I can’t think past today, but my thoughts and prayers are with everyone and especially with the Clague’s- with Anne, Bill, Nick and Jonathon. All I cling to now is the knowledge of God- heaven better be making the most of my best friend, but knowing her she’ll be raving it up already. No friend was more loved. And no-one more missed. Please pray for us all.
Laura x

Thursday 1 July 2010

June

Hi all,
Again, apologies for the long delay between blogs- time completely flies here, and somehow blogging never makes it onto my to-do lists. I’m sat here writing this from my bed, where I have unfortunately spent the last 6 days (yawn) as I managed to pick up a viral infection that has just completely drained me of energy and left me sleeping most of the time. But hopefully I’ll recover soon as I’m getting very bored!
The last couple of weeks have been manic, but in a very good way. Since the start of June, the schools have been on holiday here in SA and so Oasis have been running holiday clubs 5 days a week, from 9 till 1. These are just a chance for the kids to do something during the holidays, rather than just wander around, and we’ve all been helping out- they do sports, games, crafts etc and we also just spend some time and play with the kids. It’s been really lovely to get to know more children, and although we come home exhausted, we all love the clubs. 
In the afternoons we’ve somehow been managing to squeeze in all our normal activities- support for the full time members of Oasis, running errands, football clubs, clinic support, milk bank etc and then in the evenings we usually flop onto beds and watch DVDs! As well as the usual stuff, myself and Beth have also started our own cooking club, which we are VERY excited about. We’re got a group of about 12 nine to eleven year old girls, and we meet with them twice a week and do basic cooking skills and bake together- so far we’ve done bread, vegetable wraps and gingerbread biscuits. It’s such a fun afternoon and me and Beth are loving preparing for and running it and the girls seem to really like it to (they get very excited when they get on the minibus anyway).
Last week (you may have heard), as a GAT we also held mini Christmas on the 25th June, which was a brilliant day. We had people over, enjoyed a massive full roast dinner, had mulled wine, sang carols and then exchanged some presents, and it made us feel slightly better about the fact it is now so freezing over here and you’re all enjoying a lovely light English summer. However, although its deep winter here, I’ve been busy planning our holiday, which we take in 3 weeks time and the plan is to travel to Cape Town, then slowly travel up the coast to Durban over 10 days before returning to Jo’burg. Now it’s (almost) all booked, we’re starting to get excited, but also sad as after we return we only have less than a month to go (*sob*).
Oh, and I almost forgot- the soccer arrived! We had a few adventures involving losing the car and football games, and then Bafana and England went out, but world cup fever is still defiantly here, and all you ever see on the TV is the games. It’s been great for bringing people together, and even if I didn’t love the game, the atmosphere is great. 
Hope everyone is well, and summer (very jealous).
Lots of love, Laura.
P.S My new e-mail is laura.webber-gant@hotmail.co.uk, but I’ll still get e-mails sent to my old address. Thanks!

Monday 31 May 2010

News and Adventures

Hello all.
Thought I would take the opportunity of a spare few minutes to jot down an update of what I’ve been up to in the last few weeks. Crazily, I’ve already been here 2 months, and we’re no longer the ‘new GAT’ and people are starting to ask when we go home. But that’s a scary thought, so I just say we have another 3 months to go!
I’ve been up to a fair bit over the last few weeks, so I’ll just try and remember the most significant stories. As a team, we’ve had a few adventures this month starting with our car (Taz) breaking down after a girls night out in Montecasino, leaving us stuck for a few days whilst Taz got repaired, but people were kind with their cars and we managed. Our second adventure was a little more exciting- on the 22nd May we went off to a beautiful place called Mountain Sanctuary Park, about an 1 ½ out of Cosmo. In the morning, we had planned to travel early with Jackie and Steve, but as their car was in the garage we went ahead ourselves (in hindsight, a mistake!) as someone had said it was easy to get to. They were wrong! The first turning we took led us up a mountain track, which we then got stuck up and had to be towed out, and then when we tried to find the next road to it, we somehow ended up driving around the mountain. Anyway, 5 ½ hours later we arrived, but only had 2 duvets between 5 of us in a log cabin- it was freezing! Jackie and Steve had meant to come on the Friday but as it was late only arrived on the Saturday, and they were the ones who had our bed stuff. Anyway, the weekend itself was a really nice break, and we had time to reflect on our experiences so far and to spend time as a team, praying and chatting. We also went swimming and climbing in the rock pools which were stunningly beautiful but again, pretty cold. Brrr. At one point, Sarah, the boys and I climbed a little waterfall and used it as a slide, but just as I was deciding whether I wanted to go down, I slipped and the decision was made for me! I don’t think I have ever laughed so much, it was very very amusing (and I have bruises to account for it!).
Back home, we’re done a few community projects- Oasis ran a ‘knit-a-square’ day in which blankets were made (Beth and I were on child care so we got to paint faces) and a ‘One Love’ day- both days run in schools in the community, engaging local people with projects we are running and were both good fun. Clinic continues to be crazy busy, but I’m enjoying it more and more, and I’m really starting to see the affect it can have on people in Cosmo City, and hearing lots of stories- both sad and encouraging.
The team have all been a little under the weather for the last week- we all managed to catch bugs/cold’s and general things at the same time, so please pray for good health for us all (I’m a little cold-y at the moment) for the coming weeks. Personally, we’ve been up to lots of lovely things- seeing Sex and the City 2 with the girls, out for drinks, out for meals with Oasis staff, and meeting with a home group on a Wednesday. Last night we visited a local church with a friend Audrey for a worship evening and it was a great experience- just to enjoy some time with God. As a team I think we’re building stronger and better relationships (no storming yet!) and we’ve also been adopting Steve into our team.  (this involves lots of cake trips and weekends together).
I could go on and on, but I’ll wrap up now- hope everyone is well, and please send all your news.
Much love, Laura x

Monday 10 May 2010

May Update

Welcome to May- almost winter here, whilst you UK-ers start to enjoy the sunshine (I received an e-mail from Starbucks today saying summer is almost here, and it made me sad.) Last night we experienced our first proper African storm- very loud and dramatic, but luckily our house stayed dry.
The last few weeks have been very busy here, and all of our team have been getting involved in far too many projects to name, but we all love it. I now spend a good amount of my week working with the Community Health Team in the 4 clinics that they run throughout the week- 2 in a settlement called Itsoseng, and 2 here at Cosmo City. It’s an amazing, hectic place to be and we now see more antenatal patents here at Cosmo than the official government clinic over in Zanspruit. Last week I assisted with the Doctor and midwives through the week and saw my fair share of both inspiring and heartbreaking stories. One woman we saw and prayed for was healed of chronic back/leg pain and we saw her leg stretch out so they were equal (amazing-praise God)! But on Tuesday we went on a home visit to see an older lady who had sores in her mouth and on her body and she was offered a HIV test which she took. The test confirmed that she was HIV positive and we sat with her as she tried to take in this news- very sad, but she can now start treatment and receive support which is good news. During the clinics I usually help out with notes and statistics, pharmacy and general helping a hand- it’s all a good learning curve for me. Hopefully this week we will be able to start up a milk bank, providing HIV + women (about 1 in 4 of the women at the antenatal clinic are HIV positive) with formulae milk so to reduce the risk of mother to child transmission.
In the pre-schools, we’ve been doing lots of singing, dancing and today we took them shakers which they loved whilst at ‘Wonderful Me’, a program run in primary schools about self esteem, we dress up as various insects and act out stories- it makes for amusing photographs!

At home we’ve been busy too- on Beth’s birthday we had posh breakfast, went out for a lovely meal and then had a cake party with a few drinks back at the house- I don’t think I have ever eaten so much in one day before! We also had an election sleepover and then on Saturday we waitressed at an event one of the Oasis staff had at her house. All in all, a pretty busy time, but we managed to sleep it all off on Saturday morning.  We have finally got rid of the mice we hope, but they’ve been replaced by ants so still struggling with the animals.
We’re still continuing to go to Godfirst church in the evenings, a newfrontiers church run by PJ Smythe and we’ve almost finished our tour of local churches so we’re hoping to go more regularly to a church called Liberty Church- a mostly African church but the sermon at least is in English which is always helpful. We’ve been made to feel so welcome there and we all enjoy the dancing style worship.
In terms of prayer requests, I think the poverty here is really starting to hit home, so please pray that my and the team’s hearts stay soft and that we can really feel like we’re making a positive difference to people. And secondly for energy- all our activities need a fair bit of energy so please pray I can keep going and not flag or get tired. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.
Love, Laura

Monday 19 April 2010

Exploring Jo'burg

Hello. Sorry to all who I promised I would skype or keep more in touch with, but as of the moment internet access is only at the Oasis Hub, and not at the house, but we are being very kindly given a internet stick soon so hopefully I will be able to keep more in touch and add a few cheeky photos (we’re not strictly supposed to as it uses up the bandwidth).

This week has been quite exciting in a few ways, we’ve had some firsts and dramas, but all have been amusing! Me and Beth got very lost one day last week coming back from the local shops (no idea how) and so got a lovely tour of Cosmo City- the place is pretty big! On Wednesday, we decided to go for a drive and get an ice-cream and managed to do pretty much a grand tour of Johannesburg, which is quite a feat, and then at McD’s a massive bug landed on the car but Trevor (in his superman cape) managed to remove it- getting lost does seem to become a bit of a habit for us, but it’s easily done here! Happy days. . Then later in the week I was on my own in the house when a mouse shot across the living room floor, and I have to admit I screamed like a little girl and again, Trevor had to step in to save the day. In hindsight it was ‘tres amusant’, but scary at the time! So we’ve all been very wary of rustling this week, but hopefully we’ll be pest free for a while.

On Sunday, there was a thunder storm and we lost electricity for a good few hours, which is always funny, and then on the way back from evening church I realised I’d left the car lights on and so we had to jump start the car- possibly one of the funniest moments yet I think as we all took it fairly lightly and were helped by people in the car park at the time- so it was only a little embarrassing for me. Oops.
Work wise, we’ve had a chance to talk about and see some of the projects, and we’re continuing to see the rest this week. I helped out in the very busy clinic that runs 2 mornings a week at the Hub, helping Chantel with child immunisations and we saw some pre-schools in the community and we also worked alongside the Bridge the Gap students (school leavers aged 18-25). So we’re all pretty excited as to the next things we can do with Oasis, including the work in preschools where we have to dress up as a bumblebee, an ant, a caterpillar/butterfly and a little girl- the kitchen table is currently covered in material bits and craft stuff.  We went into pre-schools this morning also, and the children were just wonderful and amazing- so cute and friendly and lots of babies for me to cuddle! We played and sang with them, and generally had a great time.

I’m sure there are a million more stories I could tell, but that’s all I think I can fit in for the moment.
P.S- Weather here is gorgeous- I have faint but real tan lines!
Love, Laura. x

Saturday 10 April 2010

Sawubona

Hello all- Sawubona.

Thought I'd do a quick update, as this is the first time I've seen my computer in a few days, to say that I arrived safely and all is well. :)
We arrive on Wednesday (I think, days get very mixed up) after having a grand total of about 3 hours sleep and went straight to the GAT house in Cosmo City. Our house is basic but nice and we're working on it- fairly light and animal bins have already made it in! We've spent this week just meeting the team (they're all lovely) and learning the history and touring some of Jo'burg and then next week we'll get stuck into all the Oasis projects. So I feel like a little bit of a tourist at the moment, but I'm loving it, and its sunny! 

The kids around Cosmo are so friendly and our house is invaded quite a lot of the time, and the whole community spirit here is great, even though it's still a poor area. We've seen some but not all of greater Jo'burg but already we've seen such differences between the rich area and the townships like Diepsloot, right next to each other. It's so sad to see. So please pray for all the team at Oasis and our GAT team and for me, and I'll try update when I have a little more news! 

Hope everyone is well and safe and love to all. x

Thursday 4 March 2010

Hello

Welcome to my blogworld. :)
I've still got a month before I go, but just to let all you lovely people know I'll be using this (hopefully, technology allowing that is) whilst in South Africa to let you know what I'm up to on the other side of the world, and to keep in contact.

I'm staying in Cosmo City, Johannesburg and I leave on 6th April- that's about as much information as I know right now! I'll update my contact details as I go, and use this to post thoughts, what I've been doing and hopefully pictures throughout April-August. The Oasis SA website also has lots of details about projects if you want more information.

Love x